| It's been a while old friend. |
[Wednesday
December 2nd, 2009 at 8:58pm] |
Open letter to World of Warcraft.
Dearest WoW;
I'm really going to miss you but really we went our separate ways a long time ago. I mean really you keep getting closer to the Lich king while I've been devoting my time to endevors in what I consider the the real world, Its just not your world WoW and it never can be. I'm going to miss the rush of being a shaman in game, about as much as you are going to miss me grinding away at the same content week after week for a measly $15 a month. Its not about the money WoW, it never was, but just so you know I am going to be investing that capitol in seeing more movies at the theaters, I've been neglecting my needs to see movies before they are on DvD until recently and really I think one of those a month will provide more warmth and heart than you ever did. I hope you have fun in Ice Crown and I know Cataclysm is going to treat you just fine. Please don't call me again or try to visit or write, letting go has already been hard enough, I don't need any of your melodrama. PS Zul'Gurub was one of the most exciting moments thus far in my life, and thats more than just a little sad so please die in a fire.
Sincerely,
Christian Kitty Barraza
P.S. Gods up above and down below I need sleep :D
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| Roads |
[Sunday
November 29th, 2009 at 1:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 artistic |
] |
Some roads are really hard to travel, especially if you think you are the first one going down that dark yet shiny new road. Other roads, their just awkward. Luckily most roads are just normal and safe and nothing bad happens on them most of the time.
Hope everyone had a great turkey day.
Cheers.
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| Shard |
[Saturday
November 14th, 2009 at 11:16pm] |
I'm currently holding a shard of the door to my parent's room. It is a small portion of what is left after my brother hit the door a half dozen times. When I went to look at teh door and picked up the shard there were a few other signs of destruction around. The drawers to my moms dresser were all ajar, the bottom most one cracked in two. Upon further inspection every drawer was damaged to some extent and none of them would close anymore. There were empty water and Arizona Tea bottles all over the floor. The room itself was otherwise a disaster, but this is nothing new compared to most weekends here. See, my brother comes home every weekend usually on Friday after noon and is driven home Sunday night. The usual predicament is he returns, takes over my parents bedroom a few days, bumps uglies with his girlfriend, argues with her and then goes off to party and otherwise waste his life away, which is none of my concern.
It becomes my concern when he hits her because of a damn fight on TV. He was watching wrestling or boxing or some nonsense when she said she needed to get home, apparently his argument was after the fight. While not knowing the particulars I know he slapped her in the face so she went to the room to get away from him. He misunderstood this as her going to pack to get ready. When he went to get her from the room she began crying. This made my parents get involved which seemed to anger my brother. He then went into a rage hitting first the door, then the dresser repeatedly before going for the door again. During this entire tussle he kept blaming his girlfriend saying it was her fault, and that she made him do this. There were also some awful one liners, one I remember quite vividly is "my parents waste so much money because of you!" He then proceeded to say that he was done with her, he was done with school as well as soccer, and done with this sham of a life. He then threatened to kill himself a few times. to which his girlfriend seriously answered that he was wrong, he was going to kill her if he kept this up. That he should man up and be strong enough to dump her if that was the case instead of continuing to blame her for everything. This set him off some more her a few punches to the wall. I'm fairly certain he hit a support beam because he yelled out in pain.
Did I mention my parents were there? My mom was crying her eyes out telling him that she didn't want him in the house anymore. My dad trying to drive Vicky to her home without Marvin. When that didn't work my dad claimed the best course of action was to just leave and start a new abandoning his two undeserving kids. It was nice to be mentioned in passing during a family fight I was working so hard to stay out of. My mom kept yelling out that my brother was making her sick and was going to kill her. Marvin took this as a sign, saying that if she resulted in my mom's death he would kill Vicky. They really do make a great couple.
After a good twenty minutes things began to simmer down, my brother and Vicky were talking calmly if not stupidly, but calmly. The storm had passed. Or so I thought, it was then that my mom began to yell at them again, I came out and calmed her for a moment. Before my brother got more angry that everyone was "listening to the smart son." I took this as a sign and took my leave. After some yelling Marvin left, taking the car with him. Supposedly he isn't allowed home anymore, and my dad is reporting the car stolen in the morning. I told him to do it now, but he refuses. Marvin is getting away with this again, in the morning everything will be forgotten. Its bullshit.
I have nothing I can do about the matter. I feel helpless in my own home. I know its not my fault, and have worked fairly hard over the last half decade to separate myself emotionally from these people that are my family. I still appreciate them for raising me, and providing a roof over my head, but sometimes that just isn't enough. Whenever I'm at Matt's feeling like a mooch or in San Francisco for hours longer than I need to be I start to wonder why I don't like going home sometimes. I mean the family is almost never physically here, and when they are they mostly leave me to myself so why wouldn't I want to be here?
Then events like this happen. Of course what this does is trigger other memories of the past. The beatings I'd get from my mom until I was in middle school and finally able to overpower her. the fact that the little golden boy never even got a spanking. I know now that it was because he was a tattle tale. Apparently when he was younger he'd once complained at the day care about getting hit as a preemptive strike since he saw me hit all the time. He went into child services for a few weeks. I guess I was too young to remember. Apparently this didn't affect me in any way other than never seeing my brother get hit. That's all water under the bridge though. The major memory I have that is still hurtful is my parents trying to kick me out of the house because the thought I was gay. Its become a running gag now of sorts. Whenever I bring it up my mom laughs and my father asks when I'm finally going to bring a girl home to meet them. The meer thought of any girl I like meeting my parents frightens me. Bringing anyone else into this farce of a family is disgusting to me at the basest level.
Speaking just for myself living at home has this last semester made me very emotionally unstable. Basically I feel like something is broken, not something major of course. Though I feel in the long run staying around is going to do more damage than good. Times like this I miss having people I feel like I can call with my problems. Then again making family issues about me is rather immature, isn't it?
Oh, best part? Building inspections are going on right now, we had to re-arrange the living room due to a fire hazard, everything else had checked out great. They are coming to re-check on Monday to make sure we fixed the fire hazard. They are going to LOVE the new holes in the walls and door!
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[Saturday
November 14th, 2009 at 7:34pm] |
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We wanna stay the way we are, the way we've been for far too long.
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| Highlight Reel |
[Sunday
May 17th, 2009 at 12:18am] |
So, I have no idea if I defeated finals or if finals defeated me. All I know is that for not final reasons I feel pretty damn defeated right now. But, that's okay cause at the end of the day I still have coke. Here are a few highlight quotes from my day.
1. "How are you not gay?"
2. "Oh gods. Help me, Megan is crimping."
3. "Yeah I'm officially through with this campaign. I'm getting my character killed or going to fuck up everything whatever comes first."
4. I wish you would do half the things you say you want to do."
Fuck I feel dead.
|
|
| Plan B |
[Wednesday
May 13th, 2009 at 10:54pm] |
|
Plan A for the night of going to sleep early to do laundry tomorrow while finishing up homework seems to have gone horribly wrong. Eduardo blew in from nowhere and is here now, not that I mind it means Christine will be in a better mood in general til the semester ends. HOWEVER he is now very badly playing a flute in the other room and otherwise chatting. I foresee myself being in a bad mood by Friday. This shant end well. I pity anyone I run into this weekend, especially the ones I plan on seeing. Bright side 2 or so days until weekend starts, then multitude of fun events. A MULTITUDE!
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| Summer |
[Wednesday
May 13th, 2009 at 7:08am] |
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I have torn feelings at the moment. On the one hand I totally want the semester to be over. I'm also looking forward to moving out of this dump (which is in 2 Sundays, yay!). On the other hand that means being home for Summer which is never all that fun. Though it will be nice to not have to ride on a train for an hour to see people. Regardless that means that next week will consist of massive cleanings and trying to guilt people into helping me move stuff to storage. Hell, I have to find storage now! It rocks having your parents say you literally lack room for 80% of your stuff at home. Which is true I suppose. Bright side the semester is almost over. Other than a few quick papers I have been putting off. Yay, papers. Yay job hunting. Bright side friday looks good. Yep. Sunday too. Saturday will probably be cleaning day.
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| Circular life |
[Tuesday
April 28th, 2009 at 3:56am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 creative |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Katy Perry |
] |
Last week with the exception of Friday and Saturday was pretty disappointing. My green skullcandy headphones finally broke and now only play music out of the right ear. The health clinic at school apparently wasn't taking any walk-ins on Tuesday or Thursday which kind of threw my week out of whack. What makes it worse was my attempt to go in on Monday to schedule something later in the week. I was told to take a number or come back the next day as they only do same day appointments which slightly failed me as I actually went out and did things on Monday. The one class I tend to enjoy a week was canceled on Tuesday as my teacher seems to have hurt her cornea. I haven't really heard from her since then and hope shes okay. My only question is how does one hurt their cornea? A couple of other fun little failures came in the form of Geli canceling on hanging out Thursday or Friday. She got called into work though which really can't be helped. It's incredibly hard to get miffed at someone for being responsible, but I do my best to be irrational.
Not gonna lie though a few really great things did come from the week. For one I've pretty much finally physically stated that I'm on break from Pen and Paper role-playing for the time being. I love nerding it up as much as the next fellow, but I just couldn't really bear to game anymore. I was putting in more time and effort to the games weekly then I was to homework or classes in general. When gaming starts to feel like work as opposed to a hobby you know you just have to take a deep breath and stop cold turkey. Secondly a great occurrence on Monday was heading out to see P.O.S. live at Ameoba on Monday.
Monday's adventure was grand. I met up with my friend Eric as we were going to go adventure for some new sugar cane pepsi cola product. I figured that was a bit lame and through twitter the performance at Ameoba came up and I decided we should go out and see a free show because I like things that are free and shows. Met up with Bennett and Tj there and did the Berkeley thing. Sadly it seems as if the dear captain has set sail for greener pastures. Captain Gothpants was not to be found at Hot Topic, wherever he is I wish him the best of luck and I hope he knows he will always be in the hearts of the Adventure Team. After the free show I was abandoned by Bennett and Tj which is really no surprise. What was surprising was being abandoned by Eric whom ran off to BART claiming he had just joined a last minute GURPS game. Again this is an example of gaming ruling peoples lives. Its a bit sickening really. After being left alone at Berkeley I decided I didn't want to go home and wandered. Oh how i wandered, to the point of being lost on campus for the first time ever. I knew I was in trouble when i was standing next to soda hall which is a giant green building that reminded me a bit of a giant mexican soda bottle. After being lost for a while I made my way back to the center of campus and found a treasure trove of students! Turns out the Berkeley students hang out in front of the bell tower. I can't remember ever seeing so many of their students in one place after midday, it was a bit overwhelming.
Friday was adventure day. Celebrated Megan aging, saw some old friends and just generally enjoyed life. Saturday I took over Chelsea's TV and the group that was there watched hella old cartoons. I'm talking Flinstones, Yogi Bear and the Snorks. Yeah, we watched Snorks! After that I kinda went home and passed out for the rest of the weekend. Air mattresses aren't all that comfortable. I probably should have just shared the futon with Weasel, but I figured the air mattress had been filled and it would be rude to not use it.
Final notes. One really good note is that I have 500 dollars I thought had to go towards rent that are just plain mine. it seems I fail at doing rent month and paid Christine the rest of the rent needed for the semester back in January. I'm torn as to what to do with the money. The part of me that is contemplating a summer working says to get an Xbox and game instead of work. The part of me craving entertainment has already created a list of like 6 books 10 comics 2 games and a pair of headphones (also Freakazoid season 2) that would greatly aid in my joy zone. The part of me with a brain says to save it for comic-con which is probably a smart thing. I mean I already have 200 set aside for hotel and Gas. Should probably assume the rest of this will cover food and Disneyland. Finally there's mixed feelings on my part about Geli needing to bail for the weekend. Yay, mixed feelings. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just be asexual.
P.S. Why do people in SF not want to see Alien Trespass, we're supposed to be open-minded no?
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| Pack Mentality |
[Friday
April 17th, 2009 at 10:44pm] |
Come on man, everyone's doing it...
- X what you saw
Classic Disney
[x] 101 Dalmatians (1961)
[x] Alice in Wonderland (1951)
[x] Bambi (1942)
[x] Cinderella (1950)
[x] Dumbo (1941)
[x] Fantasia (1940)
[x] Lady and the Tramp (1955)
[x] Mary Poppins (1964)
[x] Peter Pan (1953)
[x] Pinocchio (1940)
[x] Sleeping Beauty (1959)
[x] Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (1937)
[x] Song of the South (1946)
Disney's Dark Age
[x] The Aristocats (1970)
[x] The Black Cauldron (1985)
[x] The Fox and the Hound (1981)
[x] The Great Mouse Detective (1986)
[x] The Jungle Book (1967)
[x] The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (1977)
[x] Oliver and Company (1986)
[x] Pete's Dragon (1977)
[X] The Rescuers (1977)
[X] Robin Hood (1973)
[x] The Sword In The Stone (1963)
The Disney Renaissance
[x] Aladdin (1992)
[x] Beauty and the Beast (1991)
[x] A Goofy Movie (1995)
[x] Hercules (1997)
[x] The Hunchback of Notre Dame (1996)
[x] The Lion King (1994)
[x] The Little Mermaid (1989)
[x] Mulan (1998)
[x] Pocahontas (1995)
[x] The Rescuers Down Under (1990)
[x] Tarzan (1999)
Disney's Modern Age
[x] Atlantis: The Lost Empire (2001)
[x] Bolt (2008)
[x] Brother Bear (2003)
[ ] Chicken Little (2005)
[x] Dinosaur (2000)
[x] The Emperor's New Groove (2000)
[ ] Fantasia 2000 (2000) (I REALLY want to see this)
[ ] Home on the Range (2004)
[x] Lilo & Stitch (2002)
[ ] Meet the Robinsons (2007) (Eh, not as much as fantasia 2000, but still)
[x] Treasure Planet (2002)
Pixar
[x] A Bug's Life (1998)
[ ] Cars (2006)
[x] Finding Nemo (2003)
[x] The Incredibles (2004)
[x] Monsters Inc. (2001)
[x] Ratatouille (2007)
[x] Toy Story (1995)
[x] Toy Story 2 (1999)
[x] Wall-E (2008)
Don Bluth
[x] All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)
[x] An American Tail (1986))
[x] Anastasia (1997)
[x] The Land Before Time (1988)
[x] The Pebble and the Penguin (1995)
[x] Rock-a-Doodle (1991)
[x] The Secret of NIMH (1982) (mmm love this movie)
[x] Thumbelina (1994)
[x] Titan AE (2000)
[x] A Troll in Central Park (1994) (I think I own a vhs of this...)
Claymation
[ ] The Adventures of Mark Twain (1986)
[x] Chicken Run (2000)
[x] Corpse Bride (2005)
[x] James and the Giant Peach (1996)
[x] Nightmare Before Christmas, The (1993)
[x] Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)
[x] Flushed Away (2006)
[x] Coraline (2009)
CGI Glut
[x] Antz (1998)
[ ] Happy Feet (2006)
[ ] Kung Fu Panda (2008)
[x] Madagascar (2005)
[x] Monster House (2006)
[ ] Over the Hedge (2006)
[ ] Polar Express, The (2004)
[ ] Robots
[x] Shrek (2001)
[x] Shrek 2 (2004)
[ ] Shrek The Third ( I swear I end up missing the third part of almost any sequel I still haven't seen the last pirates movie)
Imports
[ ] Arabian Knight (aka The Thief and the Cobbler) (1995)
[ ] The Last Unicorn (1982)
[ ] Light Years
[ ] The Plague Dogs
[x] The Triplets of Belleville (2003) (Everyone else I know finds this movie annoying >.>)
[ ] Persepolis (2007)
[ ] Waltz With Bashir (2008)
[ ] Watership Down (1978)
[ ] When the Wind Blows (1988)
[x] Yellow Submarine (1968)
Studio Ghibli/Miyazaki
[ ] Grave of the Fireflies
[x] Howl's Moving Castle (2004)
[x] Kiki's Delivery Service (1989)
[x] Laputa: Castle in the Sky (1986)
[x] Lupin III: The Castle of Cagliostro (1979)
[ ] My Neighbors The Yamadas
[x] My Neighbor Totoro (1993)
[x] Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind (1984)
[x] Only Yesterday
[ ] Pom Poko (Tanuki War)
[x] Porco Rosso (1992)
[x] Princess Mononoke (1999)
[x] Spirited Away (2002)
[ ] The Cat Returns
[x] Whisper of the Heart
[ ] Ponyo on the Cliff by the Sea
Satoshi Kon
[ ] Millennium Actress (2001)
[ ] Paprika (2006)
[x] Perfect Blue (1999)
[x] Tokyo Godfathers (2003)
[ ] Memories - "Magnetic Rose" (1995)
[x] Paranoia Agent (Weren't this and perfect blue miniseries?)
Shinkai Makoto
[ ] She and Her Cat (1999)
[ ] Voices of a Distant Star (2001)
[ ] The Place Promised in Our Early Days (2004)
[ ] 5 Centimeters per Second (2007)
Other Anime Films
[ ] Adolescence of Utena
[x] Akira (1989)
[x] Appleseed
[ ] Appleseed: Ex Machina
[ ] Arcadia of My Youth (U.S. Title - Vengeance of the Space Pirate)
[x] Cowboy Bebop: The Movie (2003)
[ ] The Dagger of Kamui (U.S. Title - Revenge of the Ninja Warrior)
[ ] Dirty Pair: Project Eden
[x] End of Evangelion
[ ] Fist of the North Star
[ ] Galaxy Express
[x] Ghost in the Shell (1996)
[ ] The Girl Who Leapt Through Time
[ ] Lensman
[x] Macross: Do You Remember Love (U.S. Title - Clash of the Bionoids)
[x] Metropolis (2001) (lords this movie is good, and sappy... meh)
[ ] Neo-Tokyo
[x] Ninja Scroll
[ ] Patlabor the Movie
[ ] The Professional: Golgo 13
[ ] Project A-ko
[ ] Robotech: The Shadow Chronicle
[ ] Silent Mobius
[ ] Space Adventure Cobra
[x] Steamboy (2004)
[ ] Sword of the Stranger (I really need to see sword of the STRANGLER)
[ ] Unico and the Island of Magic
[ ] Urotsukidoji: The Movie
[x] Vampire Hunter D
[ ] Vampire Hunter D: Blood(lines)
[ ] Wings of Honneamise: Royal Space Force
Cartoons For Grown-Ups
[ ] American Pop (want to)
[x] The Animatrix (2003) ]
[x] Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon The Movie (so bad)
[ ] Beavis & Butthead Do America (1996)
[x] Cool World (yay for owning bad movies on whims >.>)
[x] Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within (2001)
[x] Final Fantasy: Advent Children
[ ] Fire & Ice
[ ] Fritz the Cat (1972)
[x] Heavy Metal (1981)
[x] Heavy Metal 2000 (2000)
[ ] Hey Good Looking
[ ] Lady Death
[ ] A Scanner Darkly (2006)
[x] South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)
[ ] Street Fight (AKA - Coonskin)
[ ] Waking Life (2001)
Other Animated Movies I Can't Categorize
[ ] Animal Farm
[ ] Animalympics
[x] Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker
[x] Batman and the Mask of Phantasm
[x] The Brave Little Toaster (1988)
[ ] Bravestarr: The Movie
[x] Care Bears: The Movie
[x] Charlotte's Web (1973)
[x] Fern Gully
[ ] G.I. Joe: The Movie
[ ] Gobots: Battle of the Rock Lords
[ ] He-Man & She-Ra: The Secret of the Sword
[x] The Hobbit (sooo long)
[x] The Iron Giant (1999)
[ ] Justice League: The New Frontier
[ ] Lord of the Rings
[x] Little Nemo: Adventures in Slumberland (1992)
[ ] My Little Pony: The Movie
[x] Pink Floyd's The Wall (1982)
[x] The Prince of Egypt (1998)
[x] Powerpuff Girls: The Movie
[x] Quest For Camelot (1999)
[ ] Ringing Bell
[x] The Road to El Dorado (2000)
[ ] Rock & Rule
[x] Space Jam
[ ] Starchaser: The Legend of Orin
[x] Superman: Doomsday
[x] The Swan Princess
[x] Transformers: The Movie (1986)
[ ] Wizards
[x] Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
[ ] Wonder Woman
AMBLIMATION-
[x] We're Back! A Dinosaur's Story
[x] Balto
[x] An American Tail: Feivel Goes West
other shit
[x] The Chipmunk Adventure
[ ] Aesop's Fables
[x] Tom and Jerry: The Movie (sooo bad in a good way.)
[ ] A Magical Journey
[x] Gay Pur-ee
[ ] Happily Ever After (1993)
[ ] Happily N'Ever After
[ ] Catnapped
[x] Osmosis Jones
[x] Cats Don't Dance
[ ] Felidae
[ ] Opus: A Wish for Wings that Work
[ ] Banjo the Woodpile Cat
[x] Rover Dangerfield
[ ] Jungle Emperor Leo
[x] The Cat in the Hat
[ ] Jungledyret Hugo (1&2)
[ ] Help! I'm a Fish!
[x] The Phantom Tollbooth
[x] Once Upon a Forest
[x] The Rugrats Movie
[ ] Twice Upon a Time
Animated Movies I've seen that weren't listed:
Sinbad: Legend of the Seven Seas
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron
Nocturna
Tenchi in Love
Monsters vs Aliens
The Three Caballeros
VARIOUS Scooby Doo and Anime movies (like Dragonball, Inu Yasha, Gundam, Digimon, FMA...)
The Ducktales Movie: Treasure of the Lost Lamp
And Extremely Goofy Movie
A bunch of Disney Sequels
Batman and Mr. Freeze
Pokemon the First and Second Movies (add like third to seventh or eight to that, I lost count)
Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius
Recess: School's Out
Eight Crazy Nights
Ice Age
Horton Hears a Who
Interstella 5555
Hoodwinked
Beowulf
TMNT
Additions
The great butter battle
The powerpuff girls and dexters lab movies
a really bad 12 days of x-mas movie
If I had my vhs clloection I could add like 10 to that.
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| State of Mind |
[Saturday
March 28th, 2009 at 3:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
artistic |
] |
I am so disoriented right now. It feels like there is no way it could be Saturday. Pretty much felt like this whole day was Monday and I realize now I still have 4 days off until I go back to school. (That's Wednesday).
In other how the hell is it not Tuesday right now news I fear I may be depressed. I mean its little things, a lot of binge sleeping. I personally blame my awkward sleeping habits but Christine says its a lot worse as of late. Actually her words were somewhere along the lines of, "You should get a girlfriend, maybe SHE would be able to get you out of bed earlier than 7 PM once in a while." It's bad when your sleeping habits start to affect your roommates negatively. In addition I'm also drinking quite a bit more lately. I usually don't get full on drunk but you know a rum and coke with a movie or two... or three. I don't really think I have that many reasons to be depressed but for the sake of self argument I'll set up a top 5 reasons I may be depressed, because I like lists.
5. Marvin got into Holy Names. I really shouldn't be all that mad about this one to be honest but it just goes against everything I ever believed in growing up. The kid is a lazy jerk who was never spent a day in his life worried about grades. He got into the school for soccer due to the coach taking a special interest in him. About four months ago the kid had quit soccer "permanently" and basically started a nice big family argument where his giving up on the sport got him compared to me in a bad way. I may not be a 4.0 kid but I can honestly say I've never really "given up" on most things usually its a matter of just not being able to feasibly go on. It was upsetting.
4. Love life- Lack thereof 'nuff said.
3. Distance- In a regular week I see maybe Christine 4 day, Matt one day and the Bennett gaming group 2 days. Add in the werewolf group when I'm feeling up to playing a game about pretending that I care about a secret society working throughout the world to futility try to stop the end of everything that ever existed. Fuck, I wanna play a vampire or Changeling right now, those are fun games. Basically it burns down to not seeing certain folks for far too long stretches of time, heck other than fun awkward dinner of doom I can't remember the last time I had a conversation with Nikki. Hell Geli got a twitter. HOW AM I SO BEHIND?
2. Age. I'm pretty sure i've hit my midlife crisis. I also don't think I got to enjoy it all that much. It probably happened between bites of the death burgers or bacon weaves. Just doing basic math I've probably burned a good 20-30 years off my life and quite frankly I wasn't expecting to live too long anyways. I want to leave a beautiful corpse. ANYWAYS enough denial aside the whole looming birthday thing is kinda overwhelming, something about turning 22 frightens me a lot more than turning 21.
1. HOME- I am going to be living at home for at least one semester unless I can find a group to drag kicking and screaming into finding a flat for at least 4. I had some inkling of ideas, but I think those were kind of torn apart by a Danyn whom has stolen a potential roommate in TJ. In truth you know living with TJ may not have been the best option in the world, but having it there was a lot nicer than nothing. Now my options are either strangers, which from personal experience and Matt's old place I know are horrible ideas, or looking for a full time job for a solo place while finishing up another semester or two. Then logic kicks in and I remember solo prices, and I will not live in a garage again. This has probably been one of the worst experiences ever. I'm kind of shocked me and Christine haven't killed each other.
In other news I wish I had an unlimited BART card. there was a rant here about BART prices, but really no one needs to hear me bitch about financial woes. Screw it I'm getting Wicked Tickets for myself and seeing it in June, that will fix everything.
I think how fun this week was ruined any good mood I could be in. I may need to cancel on werewolf tomorrow to do WC and find myself, while shopping.
|
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| Stuff |
[Tuesday
March 17th, 2009 at 7:20am] |
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Insert rant here.
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| Fear |
[Sunday
March 1st, 2009 at 12:08am] |
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So over the last 24 hours I've gotten a new munny a stuffed Sandy plush and a shirt with death on it, I fear Danyn might be right and I am a girl, and an emo one at that. NO wait Death is goth not emo, tragedy averted.
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| Dirty |
[Monday
February 23rd, 2009 at 10:49pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blah |
] |
So Blog,how ya doing?
I hear ya it was a weekend indeed and fun too.
No really I always look forward to our little talks, you know how much I love you.
Why are you starting at me blog?
Do I have something in my teeth?
Okay blog you always know when I'm lying, I'm working on another blog for school.
Now, don't be that way, your still where I put all my personal ideas thoughts and dilemmas.
But, this new blog. Its about... the commercial aspect, getting readers and doing blog carnivals.
No I am not making up blog carnivals they are a real thing I swear, people host them and post all kinds of things, but I'm getting off-topic.
I'll be back soon blog and we can talk about that weekend thing and superfun times I had and awkward fun times and death-burgers but until then want to do me a favor?
Could you just try to get people to go to The Urban Adventurer? could you please, do this for me?
Yeah, its unrefined I know, and not at all video-bloggy like was planned, but I'm working on it, and some graphic design, but I don't have time for it.
I know I'm always making excuses bloggy, but really your the only one for me.
Well be that way blog, but I know where you live.
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| In retrospect, not that great. |
[Friday
February 20th, 2009 at 1:55am] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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Basically three unrelated thoughts I'll start with the intelligent one. Earlier I twittered about starting up something akin to a design agency. I honestly think that the group of people I most relate to could accomplish this and more if we set our minds to it. We have everything needed other then the kick into action. Talented artists with ideas and the ability to go the limit with their creations which I've seen them do over and over again. After a couple of years of what seems like pointless schooling I'm pretty sure I understand how the bussiness works. thirty-eight percent of consultants out there lack any kind of formal degree. I have yet to do the math on famous artists but I'm pretty sure the numbers will be similar. Does this mean I plan on not finishing up school? Of course not. But, it does make me think about the future. I could end up interning for some jerk who got off hsi ass and figured out how to get his shit together with the contactshe has built OR I could try to be the guy giving out internships because I know the right people. And as an added bonus maybe participate in a career field closer to what I originally had in mind when I was earlier more focused on entertaining people then on just making money. I think a graphic design bussiness would really do this splendidly. And an attached cafe, would be the greatest release. Too much hard work on the big account got you down? Go make coffee for a few hours then go back to "real" work, yeah I think it could work.
Next, Blood. Its a lot less liquid and happy then I remember it,though admittedly I prefer keeping it on the inside. Its much more solid and molasses-like then I usually give it credit for. Long story short the same toe that keeps having such fun had a run in with stuff thats going to remain unnamed. Disinfecting it with hydrogen peroxide was neat, somehow I didn't know that it would bubble over upon contact with the wound. i really should have been a boyscout as a kid, I pledge if I ever have kids they are going through with boy scouts to have a bit more life training then I ever did.Either way feeling has just returned in it so I'm fairly certain its alive, but really I think its a miracle I can walk sometimes. This is the same guy that wants to go out and start some sort of business for the sake of getting out there.
This weekends looking like a good release though. Hopefully I'll find a way to go see Charlie Brown on friday, despite matt working and not ddriving I'm sure I can find a way to manage it without being a leech. Vamps are just nasty. Then saturday should prove a nice release including seeing the Geli for the first time in a while. I wonder how she will react to her horrible gift. Either way excitement abounds cultivating in glorious roleplaying sunday and hopefully getting a package of toys next week! I might need to make a trip to the kid robot store in SF before then though to get a full sized normal Munny, I'm all kinds of artistically inspired right now... I need to go buy paints and like a hacksaw... and store some blood. Oh blood.
This has been a blog.
P.S. if I ever hear Christine moan through the wall again I may need to go shoot her *shiver* its just not something I ever wanted or needed to hear.
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| Wonder |
[Saturday
February 14th, 2009 at 10:42am] |
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I wonder if watching vast amounts of anime when I usually don'twatch it on a regular basis anymore counts as a coping mechanism for it being valentines day. SIDENOTE I forgot how twisted s-cry-ed was, no wonder I love it.
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| DOLLHOUSE |
[Wednesday
February 11th, 2009 at 1:45am] |
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Dollhouse starts on friday, whose PUMPED?
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| Whim |
[Monday
February 9th, 2009 at 3:45am] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
] |
My life's goal at the moment is to get to the point where I can live day by day on a whim. if for example I decided I wanted to see The Little Mermaid Live on Broadway next weekend I could do it. if I wanted to see Wicked and bring friends so I wouldn't be the creeper in the audience all alone it would just happen. Of course this is just a fancy way of saying I'm in denial and really need to see a top notch theater production in the next couple of whiles... I really should have forced a tag along with Hil and whoever when she saw the Nutcracker... Ah well I GUESS Charlie Brown will have to do. Fuck You theater I miss you and I know we can't be friends anymore but do you really need to taunt me with the fact I'm never seeing the Lion King or Little Mermaid and pretty much already missed my Chance at Beauty and the Beast?
ANYWAYS too much whimsy and magic for one weekend plus listening to the Little Mermaid on Broadway soundtrack result in such a rant instead of anything purposeful or even mildly entertaining. Its okay though Now I have an only kinda creepy Comic Con cosplay type thing idea and I might get to actually make a physical mask for it and shake off this creative funk I've been feeling for a year now.
In other news I think I'm burnt out on DnD / Anima for at least another week. As much as I love roleplaying and being a nerd three times in one week is just inhuman. in addition the commute to Peter's is just a bit too expensive to do three times a week. Plus I feel like a mooch far more often than is really kosher to mooch off ones friends. The way i see it if you see your friends once or twice a month and need a ride to accomplish that its okay everyone benefits, people get to see me in my glory and I get to hang out with my favorite people in the world. When it comes to a multiple times a week thing its just not cool anymore. I become more of a burden then an awesome person to have around and I hate it. The whole not driving thing comes up a lot but I'm done driving illegally for a while, I hate the whole being over paranoid to drive 10 minutes away thing, plus I have less then no car with my brother driving the decent car at the moment, and no he doesn't have a license at the moment either. The car my parents use is a red van that is so broken its not funny. the back door only half opens the windows don't roll down and the door open alarm CONSTANTLY goes off. its kind of soothing in that man I feel ghetto right now kind of way, like going back to my actual roots if that makes sense. I still don't get why my parents spoil my brother with things such as a shiny car and a wardrobe worth about my college tuition to be honest he has horrible grades and has been kicked out of DLS twice. I technically rushed home Thursday night to fill out his Fafsa forms, he's not getting any grants but they still need to be done so everyone can pretend he has a chance at going to a non DVC college by choice. He refused to fill it out himself which to me is really insulting, If you WANT to continue studying and going to college shouldn't you put a modicum of effort into getting there?
In brighter news there is relief! My left leg is pretty much working at 90% efficiency again. for the last three months or so I was pretty convinced that I might end up walking with a limp for the rest of the foreseeable future. Between the week before Thanksgiving and a bit before new years enough stuff ended up landing on my left foot to make me think that it had been physically cursed by unforeseen forces. A glass dish full of cake, a printer covered in text books, some jackass riding a bike through campus and more feet then I can remember are only about half the things that ended up helping crush my foot. Every step was pretty much the equivalent of having someone stick a needle in the base of my foot. Bearable yes, but after a while pretty damn exhausting.
A final note about being home. I'm not right now and its the second happiest I've been all weekend. The happiest was watching Coraline. A small note about that movie before the last of my negative rants for the night. It was choppy yet amazing in a glorious way. I didn't know it was possible to diverge so much from an original story and not only stay true to it but basically to expand and make it better. I say this as a complete lover of the original Coraline story, a story it took me forever to read because every time I finished a page I would hesitate like hell to read the next one. I mean most books start great and then sort of peter out near the end forcing an ending of sorts upon themselves and calling it a day. This seems particularly true of anything by Neil Gaiman that isn't a short story. American Gods and especially Anansi Boys left me wanting so much more at the end, the stories from the book might have been over, but the characters lives in both cases were only really beginning. Coraline however pleased me in that at the end, I didn't really wonder what became of Coraline Jones. That rant was a bit uncalled for but I felt needed, especially after reading Fragile Things... Shadow what becomes of you next... I need to know.
Back to home and why I have such a distaste for it now. For the last decade or so of my life i have been dealing with a vast amount of identity issues. I know its common for most people to put on different masks that change depending on who they are around and the circumstances they find themselves under. I have worked my damned hardest to just be ONE person since about halfway through my Junior year of highschool and through a lot of self training I have almost gotten there. No more acting "weird" in front of girls I like or bashing nerds one minute while rolling D20s the next I have incorporated the majority of who I am into a single entity. Sure he's an asshole but its okay so are all my friends. I mean that with all respect and love of course. While I do find it odd that this current Omega persona has the moniker Kitty I sort of dig it. Pretty much everyone I know has some idea that its a name I go by and respond to faster then Christian or Chris although it is fun to give the name Kit or Kitty at fast food and have them try to decipher if I'm a Kent Ken or once even Kate apparently, do I look like a Kate, or a Ken for that matter. The problem with all this is being home.
At home I'm not Kitty or Kit or even Christian, I'm Mijo or Gordo or some other version of Son or Fatty,which I could live with I know I'm a big guy I dig it its who I am. But, that is just not enough at home I need to be perfect, because I'm an example for my brother... yeah... right. The kid only listens to me because I can still technically beat him based on sheer mass. Something my Dad cannot do and its a problem. The kids in charge of the house while I'm gone running rampant and doing whatever he wants. I've seen him come home stoned and seen his girlfriend spend the night both highly inappropriate things by my standards. Its not so much that I disapprove of drugs or sex to each their own, but when I was his age a nice strict set of rules was in place that kept me in line and I cannot help but wonder what happened to it. It escalated to horrid new places right after New Years my brother was on a break with his girlfriend which seems like a common occurrence now and being more rebellious than normal. During this time I got to stop a fist fight between him and my dad and to keep him from storming out in the middle of the night after being threatened to be kicked out of the house. It was one of those zen like moments where you know you are the only person with any sanity in the room. My mom was physically ill yelling and having a panic attack. My brother trying his best to assert dominance over my Dad physically because its all he knows how to do after the seventeen years of soccer programming my dad has embedded in his head. And my Dad... he was just yelling the normal things, about how me and my brother are worthless and he only loves my mom and wishes that us fuckers would just get out of their lives. very Zen very calming and very reminiscent of so many other incidents in that apartment. Watching two butcher knives spark off the sides of a bike being used as a shield, trying my damned hardest not to walk out of the house because I knew if I did I would not just be kicked out but would be basically telling my Dad he was right when he called me a fag. its these things that make me kind of want to move to New York or Los Angeles and just disappear into my chosen profession for ten years behind the scenes. That is if my parents ever get it through their thick skulls that I'm studying broadcasting and not psychology as all their friends seem to think every time I see them.
Well that was longer then I meant it to be... umm this was supposed to be about Broadway... so yeah... shows... yep.
P.S.
I think I need to go out and develop a nice addiction like drinking or drunk dialing without the drinking.
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| Newsflash |
[Tuesday
February 3rd, 2009 at 4:49pm] |
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Christian Bale is adorable, that is all.
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| All the cool kids are doing it |
[Monday
January 26th, 2009 at 12:36am] |
The following is basically the i'm insane sign conversation that happened between myself and the five year old me that comes out whenever i'm either bored or hyper. It is also why I didn't go see a movie with my free movie pass.
5 year old me: "I wanna goooo see a movie!"
Me: "Kay, how about like yes man or Ink heart?"
5 year old me: "Those are stupid, I wanna see Coraline!"
Me: "That isn't out yet."
5 year old me: "YOU LIE!"
Me: "No, its just not out for another week."
5 year old me: "Can we see it next weekend then? PLEASE!"
Me: "Not really, it comes out on the 2nd, thats monday."
5 year old me: "Thats BULL! It does not!"
Me: "It does, probably because of the superbowl."
5 year old me: "The superbowl is STUPID!"
Me: "yeppers."
5 year old me: "SO, What are you going to do about it?"
Me: "Probably sit right here and maybe take a nap."
5 year old me: "Your no fun, lets go see My Bloody Valentine 3d, ITS IN 3D!"
Me: "Your afraid of horror movies."
5 year old me: "Its a horror movie? No way."
Me: "Yeah that is so not happening, so I'm taking a nap now."
One nap later 5 year old Christian was gone, not to return until the car ride back from peter's today.... I wanna see Coraline, and kinda wanna go to a midnight premier after superbowl sunday, but I have a feeling I won't find anyone to go with / having school monday at 10 am would probably prove to be a problem.
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[Tuesday
January 20th, 2009 at 2:40am] |
Can't sleep and not quite emo enough to write a vent blog juuust yet, expect one soon.
EXPECT IT!
Anywho meme.
Rules:
Go to urbandictionary.com and type in your answers to the following questions.
Post the first definition it gives you.
Tag some people.
1.) Your name?
Christian
A person who believes that Christ is their Savior. A person who believes that Jesus of Israel was/is the Son of God and was everything He claimed to be.
Kristen was a Christian and carried her Bible everywhere she went.
-Yeah not totally true.
2.) Your age?
21
The age at which one is finally considered human.
3.) One of your friends?
Weasel
shifty, schemeing person that will do whatever they need to to escape whatever they fear in the moment
Listin up you little fucass weasel, if you lie to me again -- you are just gettin' yosef' another slap
-Probably right.
4.) What should you be doing?
Packing
Adj. (gerundive form, by ellipsis from "to pack heat") Carrying a concealed firearm.
Son, you keep away from dat nigga Rakwan, you heah me? The foo' be packin' and he might just up and cap yo trash-talkin' ass one these days!
5.) Favorite color?
Jade Green
The perfect girl. Great tits, ass, face, personality, legs, name, everything.
Person #1: Damn I would love to fuck Jade Green. I bet she has a tight pussy!
Person #2: I bet she does too. I mean why wouldn't she? Everything else about her if perfect so why wouldn't her pussy be?
Person #1: Damn you're right. I would pay good money to get in her.
-I regret nothing... Damn you adjectives
6.) Birthplace?
Oakland
City east of SF Bay, aka "tha town". Separated into 3 parts (North, West, and East Oakland). There is no south. North Oakland is the hills. West Oakland has downtown, lake merritt, chinatown, and jack london square. East Oakland has the airport, coliseum, and the zoo. Deep East Oakland is where you can find the sideshows, people actin' a fool and gettin' hyphy, goin stupid doo doo dumb retarded, smokin perk and chewy, sippin' on some heem or yak, and slappin' hard in they box chevs.
dude1: 'ey mayne, what it do?
dude2: it ain't nuttin yo. i finta get blazed tonite and hit up tha town, yadidamean?
dude1:o fo sho.
-Lets not start to question things.
7.) Month of your birth?
March
Month in which creative, layed-back, dreamy, cool people were born.
She was born in march so she is creative, layed-back, dreamy and cool.
8.) Last person you talked to?
I was going to put Dekay, but that was just disgusting... so megan. Don't look up Dekay you'll cry.
A girl that is very stubborn but at the same time can be the greatest friend on the planet. She loves pizza and is absolutley gorgeous. She is loved by everybody and is fucking hilarious!
Megan is my best friend.
-legend tells she actually dislikes pizza.
9.) One of your nicknames?
Kibby
Verb. To shake rapidly like when one is having a seizure
Every time Ralph sobered up, his hands would shake and often, he would fall to the floor and kibby violently.
-I prefer
A word used in place of anything that cant be mentioned out loud without getting a shocked look.
Also can be used to substitute as many words as possible in a sentence and confuse everyone conversing completely
1. So last night i decided to move straight for her kibby
2. I'm going to put your kibby into my kibby, and keep it safe, because noone will tell it apart from the rest of the kibbies in there?
what?
do you want me to put your keys in my bag or not!?
-I am totally a substitute i swear.
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